Singapore

Singapore is probably the most colorful city I have ever seen. The very air has it's own unique flavor, the streets breath their own beat. Everything is so beautiful. Nothing is ever slow. No one ever sleeps here. You can taste the spices in the air and smell the insence and the music is so vibrant, the balmy nights are so full of life, and the food - incredible!
I've been here since tuesday, but I feel like i've been here for weeks!! it's so cool how Singapore is such a futuristic city, so ahead of it's time, yet, it is still able to retain so much of it's beautiful heritage. The shopping here is brilliant, but you have to be carfeul of some people who would try to boost their prices for tourists. i've bought some amazing things - I LOVE Little India and Chinatown, their such vibrant places of Singapore history ... anyway, here are some pics of this amazing place (taken with my spanking new camera =D)



Chinatown





View from "The Singapore Flyer"

 I can't wait to show my DV people the rest of the pictures (and more to come, no doubt). I'm having an AMAZING time, but i'm still homesick =(.
Good night, Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite =)

It's Achient History

So, yesterday we arrived in Auckland, well actually, Orewa - just north of Auckland. And at first I was really excited, I mean, this was where I lived for three years and I was going to catch up with some old friends. And not just any old friends, either. These are the people who saved me when I first arrived at OC, I was adopted into the most wacked up group in school and I was proud of it! Oh, back in the days of 'Rocky Horror' and fancy dress tea parties *dramatic sigh*... hmm, you'd think that i'd be excited to be back... boy, was I wrong.
Have you ever taken a trip down memory lane and you realise (infact it's so blatanly obvious) that your the one whos changed and then you feel bad about it becuase you know they were expecting someone else.
We met up at around six that evening and walked down to Mc D's, and I found that I just couldn't talk to them like used too, it's really sad because they were a great bunch of friends.
I woke up angry and pissed off this morning, we drove round town and saw some old places, but all I really wanted to do was go home, DV is where I belong (I can say that with a smile). Anyway, I think God's been leaving some (not too obvious) clues that maybe it's time to let go, i've moved heaps of times and met heaps of people and if theres one thing i'm horrible at, it's letting go of achient history... well i'm going to try.

So off to Singapore tomorrow, my cousins already invited me to see Harry Potter with her, so i'm really excited - shes a darling and I wish you could all meet her. I still need to sort out shoes for the wedding. Looking forward to seeing 'Little India'. Not looking forward to a ten hour flight. Hoping to get an awesome digital SLR camera. And thats pretty much the low down on my life right now.

Lighter Than Air

If I had a hot air balloon, i'd live forever above the clouds ... far far away...

Waiting for the Piano to Fall

How do you let someone know how your feeling without actually saying anything.
Is it with a look? A mental thought thrown in their direction? An expression? Or maybe an action?
Your not a foward person... so how do you express yourself without feeling stupid?
Well actually you already feel stupid - it's funny how your so aware of what your doing and saying when their around:
Should I say that... is that even funny?
ok I won't. No actually I will say it. No, definatly... no, I think i'll save myself the humliation when they don't laugh.
But if they do laugh... well it's too late now, the moments passed.
Damn! I have to say something... (the short pause it turning into an awkward silence)
Food? Weather? ... PETROL PRICES?
Oh lord, help
Just say you like me, oh, please, just say you like me!!!
...forget it...
you attempt a dramatic exit, instead you stumble, fall and wack your teeth onto the nearest flat serface.
Ok, i'm proud to say the final part hasn't actually happened to me... yet, i've been waiting for the piano to fall... it's only a matter of time.

Torn

Funny how your heart holds you in one place, but your body and soul are so ready to move on.

My Marvelous Disappearing Act

Today I disappeared during my lunch break. It's amazing what just an hour can do for you, so, with my hot chocolate (yes, it's true, it wasn't my daily dose of poison ... caffeine - drool), here is where I disappeared...

 ... ahhhh, most marvelous. stereo turned up, hands wrapped around my hot chocolate, and of course - my view... absolute bliss =D

Loving Chaos

So, say that you were traveling,
along a rather narrow path.
The earth crumbling away on either side of you.
And finally, it pulls you down too.
Your falling...
Down
                      Down
                                                 Down

SPLAT!

You hit chaos.

Constant, moving, rumbling chaos

GLORIOUS chaos!

Painful, hurtful, sadistic chaos

Untimely. Inspired. Pulsating. Gravitating. Radiated. Malnourished. Intimate. Eclipsing. Lonely. Ravishing. Tantalizing. Masked. Ugly. Passionate. Escalated. Mesmerizing. Chaos.

Then who is there?

Your road kill

Who is the person who will bother to scrape you off the asphalt?

Bloody, Broken and Shattered.

Who will take the time to tape you back together?

Your heart bloated, bruised and yet still beautiful.

Who will hold it close to their own heart...
...and pray...

...just pray...

***

Would have to be a pretty good friend.
***

An Attempt to Clear Madness

The music of my life is an opera. Dramatic, passionate, inspired.
I am a painting in a red world.
Those who see me, see exactly what they want to see...
...but most miss the best part.
Every step is a dance, every word, a song.
Every dark thought or grey moment, an agonising scream.
My soul is equally as light as it is shadowed,
and inside there is too much colour and passion than can be contained.
I'm spliting at the seams.
I'm filled with more then just stuffing.
It all explodes.
Who am I?

Mute With Meaning

I think it's amazing how much writing can reveal the nature of a person. Here I am reading blogs of people I have never met, people who live on the otherside of the world, people who probably don't know I even exist. And yet, I still think of them as my friends. The things they write about, the way they write - theres personality within the words! And today, as I was reading one of the blogs I follow, I realised, I don't even know the name of this person let alone what they look like, i've never talked to them but I knew them through words, things they had written. Who knew that random squiggles could have so much meaning.

Sundays

I never thought in a million years that I would be the kind of person who'd want to go to church. Growing up in a Catholic background, I hated everything to do with religion - probably because I had a lot of people around me trying to shove their belief down my throat, and of course I didn't appreciate that very much. But now I've found a safe place for me, and even better then that I've found family! This puts a whole new meaning to "living for the weekend", at work I'm finding that the best way to get through the week is mentally counting the days down till Sunday, then "YAY! Happy Day!!!". I know it's stupid, but I don't care, all I can say is "Hallelujah!" finally something actually makes me happy. Not to mention the people, these people are the most amazing bunch I've ever met!!! (I loves yous guys x). Yes, you may have noticed that I am on a bit of a mental high, but at the moment i'm happy for no reason and I really hope it doesn't fizzle out too soon.

And now I can leave you with this - something that somebody said to me once: "Believe in your God, not the God of a religion"

Thankyou God =)            

2

2 weeks now and counting, 2 weeks and where off to Singapore! ... so why am I not excited? I can't help it, i'm just not. In fact i'm quite reluctant to go. I mean, I do really want to go because this is such an amazing opportunity... I guess i'm nervous about the outcome, I don't want to be a disappointment again.

No Jokes... Freaky

Hmmm. Dannevegas.
The truth of the matter is... well, i love it here.
WHAT!?
It's the truth, I swear. I've lived in alot of different places (and I mean ALOT of different places) and i'm telling you: I LOVE IT HERE!!!
Strange as it may seem, i've found a certain amount of contentment in my muddled, confused and slightly morbid life here.
And now I finally have a plan for myself (though I won't be surprised if it changes again) and i'm wondering: am I going to be okay moving away (again), I keep telling myself that it isn't far but bloody hell! it's been so long since i've actually been able to say "yep. Yep, this is a pretty damn good place".
So I guess i'll just have to take a deep breath and just jump.
Be spontanious.
(is that how you spell it?)